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1.精明的家庭主妇
一位精明的家庭主妇听人说有一种炉子用起来可以比她现在用的炉子省一半的煤。她听了大为兴奋，说：“那太好了！一个炉子可以省一半的煤，那么如果我买两个炉子的话，不就可以把煤全都省下来了吗？”
A Smart Housewife
A smart housewife was told that there was a kind of stove which would only consume half of the coal she was burning. She was very excited, and said: "That'll be terrific! Since one stove can save half of the coal, if I buy two, no coal will be needed!"
2.心不在焉的老师
有一天，人们看见一个有名的心不在焉的老师在路上走，他的一只脚一直踏在街沟里，另一只脚踩在人行道上。
一个碰见他的学生说：“晚安，老师。您怎么了？”
“啊，”这位老师回答说：“我想我离开家的时候还挺好的，可是现在我不知道出了什么毛病。我已经一瘸一拐走了半个小时了。”
An Absent Minded Professor
A notoriously absentminded professor was one day observed walking along the street with one foot continually in the gutter，the other on the pavement．
A pupil meeting him said：
“Good evening，professor．How are you？
“Well，” answered the professor，“I thought I was all right when I left home，but now I don't know what's the matter with me．I've been limping for the last half hour．”
3. 采购过早
那天是圣诞节，法官在审讯犯人时也有点恻隐之心。
“你为什么而被起诉？”他问。
“采购圣诞节物品过早。”被告答。
“这不算犯法。”法官回答，“你购物多早？”
“在商店开门之前。”犯人应道。
Early Shopper
It was Christmas and the judge was in a benevolent mood as he questioned the prisoner. "What are you charged with?" he asked.
"Doing my christmas shopping early," replied the defendant.
"That's no offense," replied the judge, "How early were you doing this shopping?"
"Before the store opened," countered the prisoner.
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