Dog for Sale

An old man walked into a pet shop one day with a large and very ugly dog.
It had long hair, short legs, no tail and a very wet nose.
“Good morning, sir,” the owner of the pet shop said. “How can I help you?”
“I want to sell this dog.”
The pet shop owner looked at the dog and shook his head.
“I'm sorry. I can't give you anything for that animal. No one will want to buy him.”
“Why not?” asked the man. “He's clean, well-behaved and healthy.”
“Look at him, sir,” said the pet shop owner. “He hasn't got a tail, his legs are too short and his hair's too long. Who would want to buy such a dog?”
“Well, I guess you're right,” the man said. “But he can talk.”
“What do you mean he can talk?” the pet stop owner asked.
“Yes, he can speak perfect Mandarin (普通话)， different Chinese dialects, English and Japanese as well. Just listen,” the man answered.
The dog then spoke.
“It's true, sir,” he said. “I am the world's greatest talking dog. I've been to America and talked to the President Bush at the White House in Washington. I've talked to the Queen of England and the Emperor of Japan. Please buy me, sir. This man is very cruel to me. He makes me work too hard and doesn't feed me very well. He never takes me for a walk or gives me a bath. Sometimes he leaves me alone for weeks. I'm so unhappy, sir. Please buy me and find a good home for me.”
The pet shop owner could hardly believe what he was hearing.
“That's amazing ,” he said. “You're right. He is a talking dog. But tell me, why do you want to sell him?”
“Because I'm tired of all his lies,” the man said.

 

 

卖狗

      有一天，一家宠物店里来了一位老先生，手里牵者一条大狗。只见那狗长长的毛，短短的腿，爱流鼻涕却没有尾巴，样子十分难看。
    “老爷子，您早。”宠物店的老板问道：
    “啥事？”
     “卖狗。”
     店老板看了看狗，摇了摇头说：“对不起。我可不能买这条狗。再说了，要是我买下这只狗，也卖不掉。”
   “为啥？它爱干净，懂礼貌又没病。”
   “老爷子，您看看，它没尾巴，腿短，毛又太长，谁愿意买这劳什子。”
   “咳，说得对。可它会说话呀。”
   “它会说话？说来听听。”
    “可不是吗，它的普通话、方言土语、英语、日语说得都很溜。”
   这时候，狗答腔了：“先生，这话不假。我是天底下最会说话的狗了。我去过美国，与住在白宫的布什总统喷过；我也去过英国，与那里的女王唠过；我还到过日本，和日本的天皇侃过。先生，买下我吧。这人对我太差劲。他总是虐待我，给我干不完的活儿，却不给我吃饱饭，从不陪我溜达，也不给我洗澡。有时，他让我单独在家有好几个星期，我难受死了。请您买下我，再给我找个好人家吧。求您了。”店主人很难相信听到的话，他问老先生：“真是奇怪。您说得对，它确实是条会说话的狗。但是，您得说清楚了，为啥要卖它呢？”
      “实不相瞒，它老是撒谎，我快烦死了。”那人说道。